Ouch! Sorry. I just stamped my own foot. This is a classical sign of early ageing. An even more classical sign for ageing is when you continue to stamp on your own foot without realising it. Readers are advised to see where they stand, no pun intended.

Now that we’ve finished with these formal introductions, you and me, let me get to the subject of today’s column. Yes, it is true, you have read correctly, today’s column actually has a subject. Okay, fine, let’s say the column may have a subject. Before revealing what may or may not be this ...er subject, we need to examine an important piece of news.

Apparently, one of the greats of the I.T. sector Shree Narayan Murthy has recently acquired an apartment worth ₹50 crore in Bengaluru. (Keep in mind this does not include extra charges for parking and the swimming pool). Netizens, and as I understand there are more netizens than citizens in India, have started criticising this expense.

Coming from four generations of lawyers, allow me to defend Shree Narayan Murthy jee, (to use the full title). Firstly, Shree Narayan Murthy jee buying a ₹50 crore apartment, must be explained by the law of relativity. I’ll put it in simple terms, so that anyone who has failed to clear the CA exam after seven attempts also understands.

S.N.M. Jee (Shree Narayan Murthy jee) spending ₹50 crore for an apartment is exactly equal to me spending ₹5 on a vada pao. Okay, I’ve just been corrected — make that me spending ₹2 on a vada pao. Since no vada pao in Mumbai is available for just ₹2, let’s, for the sake of this argument, accept that the vada pao guy, due to extreme hunger, ate half the vada pao before handing it to me, thus justifying the knock-down price.

Now you don’t see the netizens screaming for my blood. Can you feel the hypocrisy? Both of us have spent in direct proportion to what we are worth. A case of simple mathematics. As direct descendants of Arya Bhatta and Brahma Gupta, I expected better from these netizens. (Just to be clear, you can’t be a direct descendant of both Arya Bhatta and Brahma Gupta, it’s either one or the other).

In India, we seem to have picked up a new bad habit from the West. This habit is, for all practical purposes, an action. Basically, it’s the action of finger-pointing. This started in France, during the French Revolution. Fingers were used to point and identify rich people and aristocrats. These poor rich guys then begged to have their finger cut off instead of their heads. Having adopted this trend recently, Hindustan is abusing it left and right and centre. Okay, not so much at the centre, but definitely left and sometimes, right.

It is my ardent request to leave S.N.M. Jee alone. Let us be more egalitarian and stop picking on the rich. Rich people are people too. Please find other uses for your finger.

The writer has dedicated his life to communism. Though only on weekends.